Better Than That

by Patrice Taddonio

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03:13

credits

released December 16, 2016

Music, lyrics, vocals & instruments by Patrice Taddonio
Cover photo by Patrice Taddonio
Font - Enjoy the Ride, by HypeforType

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Patrice Taddonio Boston, Massachusetts

Patrice Taddonio is a singer-songwriter living in Boston, MA. Her music grapples with the complexities of trying to live a life that's meaningful in a world where immense beauty and tremendous suffering co-exist. With lyrics that probe yearning, hope, love, blame and forgiveness, her songs explore what it means to stay optimistic in the dark. ... more

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Track Name: Hardest of All
I heard that you're thinking of going away
I heard that you're searching for something to say
I heard that you may have destroyed your own heart
That all of your searching just tore it apart

I heard that you're tired of sleeping around
That for all your looking you haven't been found
I heard there was a bird you were tryin’ to save
I heard you were wishin' that you were born brave

Well, it's hard to forget what they said at the start  
But the hardest of all is to know your own heart

The last time I saw you, you couldn't explain
What you saw from your car on that night in the rain
And you gave off the heat of a candle or star
But that's not who you were, and it's not who you are.
And one time you told me right after we kissed
That if you went missing you wouldn't be missed
It wasn't true then and it isn't true now
But you never listened to me anyhow.

Well, it's hard to stop moving, even harder to start  
But the hardest of all is to know your own heart

The arc bends towards justice then it bends right back
But I want to believe we are better than that.
I keep asking the questions and looking for signs  
The answers aren’t mine. Still, I find them sometimes.
And they're not without beauty. They're not without light.
They are sad as hell, too, but I think that's all right.

Well, it's hard when you’re feeling you’re aware but apart
But the hardest of all is to know your own heart

I wish I could tell you that you're not alone
But what do I know? I can't roll back the stone
And I can't solve the mysteries or promise rebirth
But I can tell you this for whatever it's worth
There's both madness and mercy both pleasure and pain
When you open your eyes and start living again
When you open your eyes and start living again

And baby it's only a shot in the dark
If I love you enough will you know your own heart?
If I love you enough will you know your own heart?
Track Name: A Decent Man
A Decent Man

I remember thinking
Will I ever get this right?
Well, the ship seemed to be sinking
I was spoiling for a fight
And it was just when I was feeling
Set on traveling alone
That I saw you at the turnstile
With your jacket and your phone

You had no use for gold or ribbons
You weren’t scared off by the rain
And you took me to your cabin
You weren’t into playing games
I was the first to say I love you
But I knew you’d get there, too.
We were in this thing together.
From the start of it, we knew.

I’m not good at writing love songs,
and I’ll do the best I can, but
it’s hard to write a decent song
About a decent man.

You explained the canyon forming
Grains of sand move one by one
Over not just years but eons
A billion settings of the sun
Yet we’re here in this same moment
You and me in this same place
Before we join the dust of ages
Baby, I would call that grace.

I’m not good at writing happy songs,
and I’ll do the best I can, but
it’s hard to write a decent song
About a decent man.

You said you don’t believe in magic
But, babe, logic’s magic too
So’s the love we choose to nurture
So’s that early-morning view—
From the bed we’ve made untidy —
Of the lake that’s made you, you.
Yeah, it’s magic, either way, babe,
And I think you always knew.

I’m not good at writing happy songs,
and I’ll do the best I can, but
It’s hard to write a decent song
About a decent man.

You deserve a choir of angels
Singin’ praises to the lord
You deserve a band in concert
You deserve a secret chord

But instead, you’ve got me, baby,
By the heart and by the hand—
I’m glad to try to write a song
About a decent man.

But instead, you’ve got me, baby,
By the heart and by the hand—
I’m glad to try to write a song
About a decent man.
Track Name: Something to Lose
Something to Lose

You're there stewin' in the corner
lookin' for a pot to stir
Giving glances out like presents
that you think no one deserves
What good's a fortune when you're certain
that you've got some rotten lot?
Still held hostage by some grievance
that the other guy forgot?

Well there's something to lose
And there's something to gain
When you're willing to stop
Playing that sort of game
You won't notice at first
You can't call it by name
But you're showing your hand
And you're touchin' the flame
And it burns

You said they don't know,
You said, oh, that's a shame
You pretended to care.
You were just takin' aim.
All of these preconditions
All this guarding the door
Turns out you were the only
one keeping score

CHORUS

Why are you afraid of olive branches?
Why do you think love’s just a test?
What if every person is more
Than just her worst or her best?
What if just believing there is goodness
is a miracle enough?
What if hope is not some timid thing,
but something strong and something tough?

CHORUS
Track Name: Sight Unseen
I am insanely grateful that nothing's ever fair
Judgment would reduce me to ashes
Justification; turn around; I'm stabbing myself in the back
Worse, I like the show

I'm not meant for this any more
I'm not meant for this any more

And it's a double-edged elation
When I make the realization that I've made
A thousand times before
And I forget how I've denied
To reach this point and get inside of what I prayed for
Wanted sight unseen

When pain is serving as a cradle and a blindfold and a sun
I am the one who made it welcome
Superior and grinning, needing nothing, peeling my good skin
Smiling as it falls

I'm not meant for this any more
I'm not meant for this any more

And it's a double-edged elation
When I make the realization that I've made
A thousand times before
And I forget how I've denied
To reach this point and get inside of what I prayed for
Wanted sight unseen

I'm not meant for this any more
I'm not meant for this any more

And it's a double-edged elation
When I make the realization that I've made
A thousand times before
And I forget how I've denied
To reach this point and get inside of what I prayed for
Wanted sight unseen
Track Name: When
When the thing you can’t remember is the thing you can’t forget
When you’re stuck inside the notion that you haven’t happened yet
And you’re dialed in to something but you’re not sure what it is
There’s a tiger in the bushes. There’s a stranger on the ridge.

When you’re witnessing the things that you can’t follow and can’t name
Things that awe you and then break you with a special sort of shame
And you’re chasing after something but you really aren’t sure what
There’s a fable for this moment, but it didn’t make the cut.

When the faded blue umbrella can’t protect you anymore
From a sky that’s always falling and a rain that isn’t pure
And you’re on the verge of something that seems bitter at the root
Baby, thoughts are just like clouds. They’re passing things. They’re not the truth.

When you’re standing on the sidewalk with an open hand and heart
At the mercy of the strangers who walk by and then depart
You’re not really at their mercy, and you never really were.
You are grace. You are a shepherd. You’re the teacher. You’re the cure.

You are all these things and none of them, depending on the day.
And love will only break your heart — at least that’s what they say.
In the end, though, it’s the only thing. It’s shining like the sun.
And it’s rising like that river on the day you came undone.
Track Name: Here's the Thing
Nothing is sadder than a man thinking
about eternity on the subway,
Far from the waves and the hills and the graves,
in the crossword on his phone.

His umbrella, folded, shivers
Like a wet dog’s tired ribcage
It is best to shy away from
such reminders of our bones.

Here’s the thing, though: We’re all underground.
We all hear the same terrible sound.
And the balance is strange but strong,
Less a formula, more like a song.

There were three lilies left on the train tracks
And a sign saying honey, stand back
I might have seen you, or I might have missed you
You were not going home alone.

They pretended that you didn’t matter
They pretended that you didn’t mind
That’s one way to shy away from
such reminders of our bones.

Here’s the thing, though: We’re all underground.
We all hear the same terrible sound.
And the balance is strange but strong,
Less a formula, more like a song.

Believe no one, baby, who tells you
That they’ve got this thing all figured out
And that something you said means you’re wrong in the head
And that wisdom means claiming some throne.

‘Cause if bodies, my friend, are like temples,
They’re like maps and like memories, too.
It’s no good to shy away from
such reminders of our bones.

Here’s the thing, love: We’re all underground.
We all hear the same wonderful sound.
And the balance is strange but strong,
Less a formula, more like a song.
Track Name: Welcome
Oh hey, welcome. You’re familiar.
I have seen you here before.
You have been here in the mirror.
You have walked right through my door.

You have feasted at my table
You have joined me in the streets
You believed in help and progress
You were human. You got weak.

Then you set something in motion
While the others were asleep.
It made darkness fall too early
And it made my mother weep.

But it was always bound to happen,
And I’m glad the one was you
From the bread we broke together
To the veil we tore right through.

I’d invite you in again, you know,
A hundred times or more.
I would offer you my wine
And I would seat you on my floor.

Because even after everything —
yes, even after this —
All there is for you is love,
And I am waiting for your kiss.
Track Name: For the Ride
You weren’t afraid of anything
I thought that it might be your downfall
You seemed wild, you seemed free
But it turns out that you weren’t at all

You told me you had grown up fast
You said you left that town you came from
You said there was no looking back
At the ones you got your name from

And let's pretend you never lied
And I was not there to be borrowed.
You were just in it for the ride
I was just in it for the sorrow.

Well, now there's little I can say, babe
There's almost nothing on my mind
That thing we were went on its way, babe
Now it's impossible to find.

Let's not pretend that this was love, babe
Let's not pretend it was just weakness.
Yeah, it was something in-between,
Some sort of raging at the bleakness

Some sort of quiet in the night
Something almost like a promise
But neither one of us was right
And neither one of us was honest

And let's pretend you never lied
And I was not there to be borrowed.
You were just in it for the ride
I was just in it for the sorrow.

And now we're on the other side
You are squarely in my rearview
You may be screaming, I don’t know
I hope that someday, someone hears you